I am scared with the thought that sharing it would make me feel alone. I will start missing him & then will end up in speaking to him.. Which I don't want. I have promised myself that I'll never look back.. But sometimes we as human beings, fail to control ourselves., our emotions.

First Pic

Break of Dawn -- New lease of life, Embarking upon a New Voyage......
A Child Flyin Kite -- Young Blood, Aspiring to Fly High with Enormous Zest n Zeal..coz U Know, Sky is The Limit......
A Small Tree -- Need to Nurture.......
Two Birds Hovering Above -- There r People Around to Take Ample Care of You, You r Actually Carefree.......


Second Pic

Daylight -- You r Almost Halfway Through in This Voyage Called Life.....
Couple -- You Hav a Betterhalf of Yours to Lean Upon n Speak Your Heart Out to......
Grown-up Tree -- You Hav Been Nurtured Profusely to Stand Tall n Rigidly in The Storms That May, Otherwise, Let U Down.........
A Small Tree -- You, Together With Your Betterhalf, Hav Given A New Lease of Life to Another Breaking Dawn (Your Child).........
One Bird Hovering Above -- There r Comparitively Less People Around You to Take Care of You, Unlike During Your Wonder Childhood Years.......


Third Pic

Fall of Dusk -- Twilight is Setting Upon, Life Has Come a Full Circle....
An Old Man -- It's a Race Against Time Now On, It's The Begining of The End of The Voyage......
Ageing Tree -- Signifies The Above Two Things, Second One Being The Personification of This........
Grown Tree -- Your Kins Hav Grown Up, It's High Time You Start Supporting Them With Tender Care Rather Than Clashes..........
One Bird -- Self Explanatory, I Guess???
Grave -- In Course of The Voyage You Hav Lost Luved Ones n You Also Start to Anticipate Your Ultimate Fate n Destiny..........


Fourth Pic

Nightfall -- Voyage is Over, Darkness is Looming Over, High Time to Say Good Bye....
Starry Sky -- There's Still Happiness Around, Thanks to The Aesthetic Memories Left by You n The Good Work Done Too......
Grown-up Tree -- Your Kins r Walkin in Your Shoes now, It's For Them to Follow Your Footsteps Drawin Inspiration From Your Exemplary Life..
Grave With Two Crosses -- You r United With Your Soulmates n RIP........
(Watch Closely)

Boss. A very horrible word in itself. But I wonder, is it really that horrible? My boss and I have many complaints for each other. At times, I feel that she is stupid, she doesn't know how to handle things, she unnecessarily creates mess when things can be sorted out very easily, she doesn't want to do anything and put all the pressure on me..list goes on.

On the other hand, she thinks that I do not follow up with the agencies and vendors properly. I don't put that special effort when required. I start looking for the solutions before actually recognising the problem well. I try to neglect her and seldom report to the superiors with her involvement..even this list is endless.

But apart from all these complaints, I think she is a nice boss. She always understands. I never have to give reasons for half days & leaves. Somehow, it is very comfortable working with her. I tell you the incident when I realised this feeling of being comfortable.

My boss and I are open to each other in a sense that she has the access to my personal email IDs & I have to hers. A month back, she was on leave and I logged on to her personal ID for some work (of course with her consent). When I logged in I found a mail in the Inbox, which was sent by Mr. Riyaz, who was earlier working with our organisation. He left 6 months back and now works as director HR in some Automobile company. Mail consisted of an offer letter for my boss, subsequent to her interview held with that automobile company.. I read that mail, did my other work & logged out. After two days, out of curiosity, I logged on to her mail ID again (and this time, without informing her). I was very happy when I saw that she has replied to Mr. Riyaz, accepting the offer and conforming the joining date on May 05, 2008. I was delighted with the thought that being this the appraisal time, as soon as she will leave, I'll get her position. I'll get power, a deputy, a cabin, and many things..

We work 5 days a week. She didn't come on May 01 (Thursday), not even on May 02 (Friday). I was happy. It was the best weekend in my whole life, delighted with the fact that I' will rule my dept. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday Past. her mobile was switched off. No body picked phone at her residence also. I started being uncomfortable. Lots of doubts, questions, problems. which I dint know how to solve.. It was a very bad condition for me. I started realising that I am not capable yet for the things that I was happy to think about. There were many things that she used to do.. I felt her absence very badly.. I was sad. Sad with the thought of failure.. Went to home on Wednesday with the fear of presenting my monthly report on Thursday, which my boss used to present. I couldn't sleep that night.

Thursday morning, I left early from home, with the thought of reaching early to office & then prepare for presentation. I reached office at 8:30 (office time is 9:30). I kept my bag on the reception and moved to rest room. But somebody was in. As I waited in the lobby, I saw my boss coming out of the rest room. I was surprised to see her, yet very happy. Couldn't ask anything from her but just.."aap itni Jaldi Kaise"?? And she replied, Commo'n Ritika, we have our presentation today;.

I still don't know, why she was on leave.. What happened in those seven days.. why her cell phone was switched of.. But I just know one thing that I was the happiest when I saw her back and realised what she means..

Now any ideas on how all you working people get along with your boses.. What you think of them.. Anything .. is welcome.

I was reading a story titled "PRAY". It starts with a very little 5 year girl who is in the midst of life and death fight. and her friend, a seven-year-old boy, who has no one else on this earth except a true friend, is sitting on the terrace and looking at the stars. Probably searching for some Godly figure in the wide sky, wishing if he could complete his search & then have a long chat with GOD or probably waiting for his prayers to be listened..

As soon as I finished with 5^th page of the book, I found my self lost in some deep thoughts. First question that stroked into my mind was, "Why do we pray"?? Why we always wish all our prayers to be answered?? Why do we need to pray?? Is there anything (our needs, desires, wants, thoughts, sorrows.) which is hidden from the Almighty?? Is there any single thing that is hidden from him? Even our deepest thoughts? He knows everything. Our eyes are the mirrors, which reflect our thoughts. Isn't That? If yes.. then why do we have to ask for the things from Him? Message, which can be sent through our heart, why do we need words for that?? Thoughts loose their value as soon as they are formed into words. There is a lot of difference between what we think & how do we say that.. Moreover, there are many thoughts that can't be shaped into words. Not even if we wish our hardest.

Then its not that we pray for small, beautiful things OR we pray only to think of GOD & to thank him for all that he has given us.. Rather, we actually pray for very strange, real stupid & absurd things.. Things which we need irrespective of any logic.. If anybody listens our prayers, he will dissolve into laughter.. We pray for a particular thing on a particular day and than after a few days, we get influenced by something or the other & then pray for something else.

Two people in the same house wish for two different things at the same time.. But GOD love all his children equally.. How difficult it must be for him to choose the child whose wish is to be fulfilled and whose not??? Ok lets take an example..

Two brothers, Sagar (elder one), who recently got engaged & Sameer (younger one), a die-hard cricket lover. On a pleasant morning (with cloudy sky), both of the brothers have different wishes. Sagar wishes the the rain to come so that he can spend more time at his fiancée's place where he has planned to go (going for the very first time). If it starts raining once he reaches his destination, he will be able to spend more time with his beloved. But at the same time, Sameer has his final match, which will be spoiled if the rain comes.. So he prays for exactly different to his brothers wishes (prays for a clear weather with no signs of rain).. Now, GOD, who loves both of them equally must be in confusion on whose prayers are to be listened and whose not..

Then we experience that many of our prayers aren't answered. Even if we pray a hundred times a day, GOD doesn't answer. I have listened from elderly people that at times, the things, which we pray for, are actually not good for us. So GOD doesn't answer. Had those things been good for us, GOD would have already given us. And we realise these facts little later, after a certain period of time.

We ask almost everything from GOD. We cry, we shout, we whisper, we beg and what not..??? All this just to send our messages to the Almighty. But all these words don't come from the heart, from our soul.. Our heart doesn't accompany us while praying, it is always (not always, but certainly 90 - 95% times) in it's own sweet world. And even we try to take our heart along with us, it'll never listen..

Then if we talk of rest of the 5 10% of the times, when we pray from the bottom of our heart, our soul. GOD listens, our prayers got answered.. Even though we don't transmit our deepest thoughts in the words, we keep mum, do not speak even a single word, GOD listens everything..

Your smiling face and my philosophical talks do not make any good match. Both are the extremes and can never meet (which I always wish to meet some day). "Tu har baat mein dialogue kyon maarti hai?", your this statement/question/comment is a barrier to my expressions..

We grew up as best of the friends, irrespective of being different. You are Jovial (everyone is dear to you), Carefree (Kya fark padta hai yaar..) and then Caring too (taking me to that doctor in hot august afternoons), Assertive ("Mujhe jo lagta hai main bol deti hoon") and there is an endless list of your qualities which I always pride to have a part of my memories..

The very first day when we met, You didn't like me and I hated you.. "How can somebody afford to do that"???, has been my first thought after I met you. But then they say, "opposite attracts". Suddenly the likings & dislikings reversed, we gave a chance to each other .. And found the numerous similarities in each other irrespective of numerous differences.

Those small sharings, stupid talks over a cup of coffee, sitting on the terrace in the chilled December evenings and being very comfortable about who you are and what you think.

No tension (apart from the one of getting call from home, from sheelu..), only long hours of relevant/irrelevant discussions..

But then time has to change. career, life, love, friends, family. n lots of other issues are to be taken care of. It's sad but time comes when u feel most uncomfortable while sharing your things with the one you were most comfortable with. I admit that it's always easy to share your deepest feelings with a stranger than with a friend (at times). "Mujhe kuch confess karna hai", "tujhe pehle se kaise pata?", "tujhe sab kuch kaise pata chal jata hai", "I thought you will shout on me so I dint tell that to you." you know sweetheart, some words are best understood when unspoken (I know I am being philosophical again). This all bring some differences to the relations (I know u will never agree to this). But at the end of the day we need each other. Sometimes when tired of being fabricated, sometimes when want to be our true self, sometimes when don't want to speak or listen anything, sometimes when just wish to sit with someone we love and everything will become as plain and as smooth as water. Those few moments spent with each other will bring the life back.

But the irony is that these moments don't come often. career, life, love, friends, family. n lots of other issues are to be taken care of. But I am happy and hope you too. One thing I am sure about is the numerous questions that are lined up in your mind by now. But as always, I'll say "a question asked, needn't necessarily have an answer".

Lots of love and wishes,

Sitting in office at your work station is sometimes.... very interesting.provided you aren't doing anything. but keeping an eye on your colleagues. It's interesting to see people working in their own style. Some people only work when they are chatting with somebody over phone, some may like pin drop silence, some other may put the pencil/pen in their mouth/hairs (spl. females, don't its style or what???) & some other (the largest in number) can only work when they have tea/coffee to sip.

I know few people who can't live without shouting on phone. It's their fashion of working. This may be their favourite pastime @@ % %&& # # # # (well, I think so). So, whenever they do not have anything to do , they just call up somebody or the other and start yelling. When did I yell on somebody for the last time???? Hmm..??? Cant remember actually. then I think do I really do that???? Hmm. yes, no, yep, nooo, yeah I do that, no I really don't.. m trying to recall the last time I did this.. Anyways, when did you do this??? Yes you. am asking you my dear reader.. Reading is an eccentric habit in itself . Why do people read?? Can u help me understand this?? I know some people who are really bookies. They always say that they read out of interest. This is what I do but more in case of people and less in books/newspapers/magazines, etc. this I what I mentioned in the very starting..

I at times wonder about me reading people so badly. Although its not a part of my profession (since HR guys say this belongs to them) but still I do. It gives me a sense of knowledge, a sheer joy and more than any thing it gives me "Some Thing To Do" (specially when do not have anything else which is of more or atleast of equal importance)